Creative Bent: If They Don't Support You, Keep Your Mouth Shut
In one of my Mentoring for Women sessions the other day, my client was telling me about the repeated attempts a female relative was making to logically talk away my client's dreams and plans for improvement. For everything my dear client said, her relative had a retort - a negative, "it's never going to work" and "look where you are in your life; it's how it's supposed to be" kind of retort.
Sabotage? Yes.
Is it conscious sabotage? No.
The interesting thing about self-improvement is this – when you set out on a course and make your intentions public, you might very likely find that the people you expected to be your biggest and staunchest supporters are actually your biggest dream-busters.
If and when this begins to happen in your world, remember this – what they're saying is not about you. It's about them and where they are in THEIR lives. Now, if you're attempting to do something absolutely dangerous – something way out of the "healthy" zone, you might need some well-meaning folks there to tether you back in. But if you're on a mission to change up your life … if you've finally decided you deserve it and that it deserves you … then know that this might cause waves or rifts with people in your life who aren't sure they like the changes.
Remember, as you change, their lives change as a result. And, while they might have initially pushed and cheered you on to create change in your life, once it starts to happen and they start to feel the difference, they might stop cheering altogether. AS the gap widens between where you are and where they are, they might be uncomfortable studying that gap of space between the two of you. It forces them to look at their lives, where they are – and in many cases, that's not a place most people want to go.
When this happens, remind yourself that this is about them, not about you. Further, it's not going to do much good to try to argue your point – this simply stirs up a negative-minded argument that you don't want to be in the middle of. That's not the kind of energy you want to stir up.
Further still – it's not your job to change or correct where THEY are. In many cases, they're not ready to make their own changes in their lives. This doesn't mean you have to drop them from your life. As you change and grow, your relationship with them might change - and that's a natural evolution, not anything that has to be forced by you. Let that happen in its own course. You just stay focused on staying on track.
Don't allow yourself to be pulled back down or stymied in any way by others' opinions. One of my favorite quotes to this day is by Wayne Dyer - he says, "It's none of my business what other people think of me." That makes me smile every time I say it to myself. As harsh as it might initially seem, it's the honest truth. It's YOUR business what you think of yourself. It's YOUR business to explore how you feel about your life and where you're taking it. Are you living it the way you want to live? That's YOUR responsibility because, in the end, you're only going to be answering to you.
As you work through improvements in your life, and set higher and higher goals for yourself, keep them to yourself. As Bob Proctor used to tell me, your new goals and plans are like fragile chicks in a nest. They might be out of the egg, but they need nurturing and careful protection until they're ready to fly.
If you wish to, share your intentions with a mentor or someone of like-minded energy, but otherwise – keep your goals and plans to yourself. In so doing, you're remaining positively focused and moving forward without the unnecessary quips, comments or flat-out fights that may occur between you and those who, for reasons of their own, might now want the same for you.
Sabotage? Yes.
Is it conscious sabotage? No.
The interesting thing about self-improvement is this – when you set out on a course and make your intentions public, you might very likely find that the people you expected to be your biggest and staunchest supporters are actually your biggest dream-busters.
If and when this begins to happen in your world, remember this – what they're saying is not about you. It's about them and where they are in THEIR lives. Now, if you're attempting to do something absolutely dangerous – something way out of the "healthy" zone, you might need some well-meaning folks there to tether you back in. But if you're on a mission to change up your life … if you've finally decided you deserve it and that it deserves you … then know that this might cause waves or rifts with people in your life who aren't sure they like the changes.
Remember, as you change, their lives change as a result. And, while they might have initially pushed and cheered you on to create change in your life, once it starts to happen and they start to feel the difference, they might stop cheering altogether. AS the gap widens between where you are and where they are, they might be uncomfortable studying that gap of space between the two of you. It forces them to look at their lives, where they are – and in many cases, that's not a place most people want to go.
When this happens, remind yourself that this is about them, not about you. Further, it's not going to do much good to try to argue your point – this simply stirs up a negative-minded argument that you don't want to be in the middle of. That's not the kind of energy you want to stir up.
Further still – it's not your job to change or correct where THEY are. In many cases, they're not ready to make their own changes in their lives. This doesn't mean you have to drop them from your life. As you change and grow, your relationship with them might change - and that's a natural evolution, not anything that has to be forced by you. Let that happen in its own course. You just stay focused on staying on track.
Don't allow yourself to be pulled back down or stymied in any way by others' opinions. One of my favorite quotes to this day is by Wayne Dyer - he says, "It's none of my business what other people think of me." That makes me smile every time I say it to myself. As harsh as it might initially seem, it's the honest truth. It's YOUR business what you think of yourself. It's YOUR business to explore how you feel about your life and where you're taking it. Are you living it the way you want to live? That's YOUR responsibility because, in the end, you're only going to be answering to you.
As you work through improvements in your life, and set higher and higher goals for yourself, keep them to yourself. As Bob Proctor used to tell me, your new goals and plans are like fragile chicks in a nest. They might be out of the egg, but they need nurturing and careful protection until they're ready to fly.
If you wish to, share your intentions with a mentor or someone of like-minded energy, but otherwise – keep your goals and plans to yourself. In so doing, you're remaining positively focused and moving forward without the unnecessary quips, comments or flat-out fights that may occur between you and those who, for reasons of their own, might now want the same for you.
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